Jane Volturi's Diary
by itsmidnighthere
Summary: Jane...and a diary. Two things that I am sure are never good together.
1. July 31 2010

Jane Volturi's Diary

I love Jane she is my favorite character, so I decided to make a story! hehe :D I would love reviews! :D

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**July 31 2010**

Muahahahahahahahah!

I am so evil!

Caius never knew what hit him! Well…actually he did, but he did not!

That git did not see that bucket before he opened the door! Haha oh well, but now I'm hiding from him, as you know no one messes with Caius Volturi when he is mad.

I am in a place that no one shall find me for sure! It's the last place they would look!

Your probably wondering where I am hiding aren't you? Well I am not going to tell you! I am so clever, even Demetri won't find me!

Alec, nor Heidi, Chealsea, Felix or anyone shall find me!

My idiot brother wouldn't know where to look, hehe that's why I am so great! :D

No one will ever find me in the Cullen's garage…oh wait I just said where I am. I may not be smart, but I can come up with great hiding places!

The Cullen's garage is so freaking huge! They have at least five cars! Oh joy!

I think I ran the fastest I ever did when that bucket hit Caius on the head, I ran past cities and more cities, hehe I am even faster than EDWARD CULLEN. Hehe :D

I am pretty sure I ran pass these people in dark cloaks, though I didn't have enough time to ask them where they got them, sadly. :(

And that's how I pretty much ended up in the Cullen's Garage.

You are probably wondering why I, Jane of the Volturi would be writing in a diary? Because I flipping can! That's why!

I am freaking huddled between a car and a door, and that's not comfortable! Well I guess it doesn't really matter since I am a vampire, but still!

Blah Blah Blah! Oh shit! I hear them coming into their house! Please don't find me!

I will tell you later what happened, if I make it out alive.

~Jane the most evil vampire of them all! :)

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Until Next time! :D

P.S. Will Jane make it out alive?


	2. August 1st 2010

Oh! I also wanted to say, that I have Alec Volturi's Diary xD

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**August 1****st**** 2010**

I am still trapped in this forsaken Cullen house! Why did I have to hide in their garage? Oh yes, I am very smart, and I can hear the mind reader laughing at me. Stupid mind reader!

In the mean time, while I wait for the Volturi to pick me up, I will tell you what happened yesterday:

"Jane, what are you doing here?" – The Mind Reader

"Um, checking out your house and all, making sure it's in perfect condition!" – Me

"Mhmm, what's the real reason you are here?" – The Mind Reader

"Don't you already know that, you stupid Mind Reader?" – Me

"Yes," – The Mind Reader

"Then why did you ask, ME?" – Me

"To make you mad," – The Mind Reader

"Pity," - Me

"I already told Aro you were here," – The Blond Guy

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" – Me

"Why not?" – The Blond Guy

"Because Caius is mad at me," – Me

"Why?" – The Blond Guy

"Because she freaking put a bucket on top of a door, and when Caius opened it, it hit him!" – The Pixie

"Ahahahahahahahaa!" – The big bulky guy

"Shut up!" – Me

So that's pretty how much my day went yesterday. I am still stuck here! I bet you my family is taking their own sweet time, in getting me! Though I bet Caius is still angry, ah well! I don't care!

~ Jane the most evil vampire of them all! :)

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Until Next time!


	3. August 2nd 2010

Lol I think this is my favorite chapter so far xD hehe xD Reviews make me happy! :D

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**August 2****nd**** 2010**

Humph. Right now I am on the plane and I can feel the glares of both Alec in Caius in the back of my head. And you know what's really annoying? Having Demetri look over your shoulder, I should burn him, but I am too lazy right now.

DEMETRI YOU BIG NOOB! LOOK AWAY!

Hehehehe, that made him look the way towards the window! :D

I am happy right now- well despite Caius and Alec glaring holes in the back of my head, I am fine. :)

Everyone are noobs, like that one week when Alec sang Bedrock. * shudders *

I am never going to bring that up again.

It's the same way with me singing the FUN song, Master Aro (possibly thought) I was going to say something else other than Fun. What other word is there other than FUN? Eh?

I think I should write my diary in a different language, cause THE BIG NOOB DEMETRI CAN'T STOP LOOKING AT MY DIARY, WHEN I AM WRITING- YEAH THAT'S RIGHT DEMETRI LOOK AWAY!

I am smiling evilly right now, hehe I am evil.

DEMETRI YOU FUCKING NOOB YOU!

Demetri is repeatedly poking me with a pen, and I can hear Alec snickering behind me.

Ohhh, why did Master Aro have to put me with him?

Everyone is going to pay.

~ Jane the most evil vampire of them all! :)

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Until Next time! :D


	4. August 8th 2010

Sorry it took so long for me to update, I was running out of my funnyness xD

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August 8 2010

I have to say, that was the best grounding ever! Aro made me go to Hawaii! XD

Ha! While Alec had to stay.

Though on the bright side I (hehe, get it? Bright side?) I got to have alone time. :D

At least Demetri or Felix isn't bothering, aaaah! This is the life. Though sadly right now I am back on the plane back to Italy. :(

I am upset. I do not want to go back. I loved my vocation, I would marry it!

Well, asside from that I painted my nails pink, and I am wearing everything pink. XD Alec and everyone are going to be blinded for days! Ha! I even put blue high lights in my hair, and of course I am leaving my hair down right now.

They are not even going to recognize me! Muahahahahahaahahah! I am evil, more evil than that guy Voldemort. Pffft.

~Jane the most evil Vampire of them all! :)

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Until next time! :D


	5. September 5th 2010

So sorry for the long wait! I do not know why I didn't write, I guess I didn't feel like it! Or I was too tired! I will try to keep on track now..as much has possible..but of course school has started..so i do not know :(

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**September 6****th**** 2010**

Wow! That was the longest grounding I ever been it! Of course I was mad when I found out my vocation was just, them redecorating the castle, and I would be away from it so they could do that!

I feel sick that the whole castle is now pink! HOW DARE THEY!

But of course I knew that a little bit before, SINCE MY ANNOYING DWEEB OF A BROTHER ALEC TOLD ME!

Back to the topic of being grounded…guess where I was taken to be grounded?

THE MOST BORING PLACE ON EARTH!…the denali… *shudders * THEY ARE THE MOST BORING PEOPLE ON EARTH!

Of course Alec was glad that I was gone for at least a month, so was Caius!

Well I'm bored now. . . .

~Jane the most evil vampire of them all! :)

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Until Next time! :D


	6. October 11, 2010

Hey(: So sorry for the long wait and all, but I hope this chapter makes up for it! :D And I shall update Alec Volturi's Diary too today! :D

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**October 11, 2010**

WOW. This is the longest time I have not written in my diary! :3 I just totally forgot about it these last couple of weeks. :3 Isn't sad? You probably missed me didn't you? :3

Though on the brightside, Alec and I are going to DRESS UP AS WIZARDS! How cool is that?

This is what we were doing when we came up with the decision: :D

"Oh brotherbear Alec! What should we dress up for Halloween?" – Me

"For the last time Jane don't call me that! And uh Wizards! :D" – Alec

"Why?" – Me

"Because they are just freakin awesome! That's why!" – Alec

"Fine, I call being Harry Potter." – Me

":3" – Alec

"…." – Me

"I WANTED TO BE HARRY POTTER!" – Alec

"Too bad Allie, you can be Neville."- Me

"…." – Alec

"…." – Me

"I HATE YOU!" – Alec

"Oh suck it up Alec, you want to be Neville!" – Felix

"I HATE YOU ALL!" – Alec

Heh, that's pretty much how my day is going so far. I'm now in my room- in a dark corner – all by myself. Yeah, its really entertaining, you should try it. I'm not joking-and this is not sarcasm!

I am still happy though that I get to be Harry Potter! HA. Love that freak. :D

~Jane the most evil vampire of them all! :)

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Until Next time! :D


	7. April 17, 2011

So since I updated Alec's diary, I thought I would do Jane's ... :) hope you like it!

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**April 17, 2011**

Well, it seems that everyone is happy that I am grounded. They all went to Hawaii to celebrate. Well sucks for them because they can't get out in the sun.

So you may ask what I have been doing for the last 4 to 5 months?

Been locked up in a tower, going insane.

Though it is fun to glare at the sky, that is my high point of the day. And of course my laptop, my iphone and ipod have been all taken away. Except this stupid diary. (Sorry for calling you stupid (diary)).

So yeah, and its all Alec's fault!

If he didn't get me in trouble after I was Harry Potter for Halloween, then I wouldn't be grounded for so many months! And yes (I am supposed to be grounded for the rest of the year) sucks huh?

They can have fun, while I'm stuck in a tower going crazy about this!

Well, at least I can plot there death. :) Oh wait, us vampires can't die. Nevermind. Ok, now I am depressed.

~ Jane the most depressed vampire of all time D:

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**~itsmidnighthere**

Until next time! :D


	8. Note

Thank you everyone who has been reviewing on my story!

I'm just updating this, so you know I have no abandoned these stories. It's just very hard to think of an idea some times, but I shall be looking onto the ideas you have been giving me…


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